I always thought that Underboard was kind of a dumb name for a shop. I mean a really horrible idea - JUST Awful...
But a LOT of people are saying to me, President T, "look at this envelope of twenties they just sent you", so I took another look and these Underboard guys are really top experts in their field. Maybe even the world. - NOT BAD DUDES AT ALL!!!
So I Donald J Trump am happy to use my unbelievable marketing skills - just really amazing - to collude with them (HA MUELLER YOU FAKE NEWS) and write this highly powerful message. AND ALSO to announce that we are building a wall around Kenilworth and make them pay for it. Kenilworth is so overrated, kind of like little Justin Trudeaux (who is not that attractive close up and has bad breath).
I like games as I always win - Trump is just the best at all the games - I like to play against my many top generals to help them with their strategy thinking. So I am very excited to find out there is a very respectful and phenomenal game about your vary favourite POTUS! TRUMP CARDS is really just a beautiful game where you get to sniff out the FAKE NEWS while enjoying some of my best quotes - many people are saying that I have the best quotes.
In case that has sold out by the time you get there, there is also YOU'VE GOT CRABS - a game involving being great at secrets and deception - sounds like one for CROOKED HILARY!!!
There are two games about a cartoon show called Rick & Morty, which Jared tells me is very popular and great - like me! One of the games is called the Ricks Must Be Crazy and the other is The Pickle Rick Game which comes in a YUUUGE plastic pickle. MMMMmmmm pickles, hey Ivanka - run and get Daddy 12 big macs - extra pickles. Wait! This guy is called Rick Sanchez? Is he Mexican? BUILD THE WALL - No, the other one.
I also have enjoyed many major, major victories at the G20 dinner over china and russia and france while playing the STAR WARS PARTY GAME I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS - Putin says correctly that I am very similar to Han Solo... But I have the actual SPACE FORCE, which is very real and mighty.
UNDERBOARD DINING CLUB EVENT
As an international expert on classy Events and the finest dining and all the greatest foods - I told the Underboard guys just how to do an event TRUMP STYLE.
They said that they can't afford to fly in the greatest miss world models or even paint Court Street Car Park with "TRUMP" IN GOLD. Such dumb losers - just awful.
They said something about 'great street food' and 'ace craft beers' but if they don't have golf and basic porn stars then I and my amazing and very happy wife Melinda will not attend!!! SAD!